31 Best Funny Punjabi whatsapp Messages, Jokes

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31 Best Funny Punjabi whatsapp Messages

Kudi waleya ne Munde nu puchheya:Tu non-veg khanda

Munda: han Sharab: han Smack: han Jua: haan
Sab kuch negtve hai kujh postive vi hai
Munda: Hanji HIV+

Kudiyan Vich Koi Sassi Labhda,
Koi Labhda Heer
Assi Ta Yaaro Sahiba Labhni,
Te Kuttne Ohde Veer.

Husband: Raat nu main ek movie vekhi
Ek chudail kadi mere agge kadi mere piche.
Wife: Kehdi movie vekhi?
Husband: Apne viyah di …

daru pee k zndgi diyan problems hall ni hundiya ……..
but,,
problems tan dudh pee k v hall ni hundiyan ……..
so chak glassy.pa peg….
burrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Jutti tang
. . .te . . . .
jawai nang .
yaar amli. . . .
te . . .
saheli kamli …..
sari umar bande di matt mar dinde ne….

Uski Zulfon ki chaon main jb se soya hu,

rabb di soun merian te juaa e ni mukdiyan
<(“.”)>mummy!
) ) Breek Kangi
_/ /_ Deo.

Doha guttan te gulabi ful tange-tange,Asi GURDUARE jano nahio sange-sange,Langar ch bathian sanu tera khyal aa gya,Asi rokya bathera dub janyie ni Baba sanu dal pa gya.

Padan likhan di ki lodh punjabian nu.punjabi vaise hi hushiar hunde.botal sharab di master kol de k jande number ape 6 to 66 hunde.

JATT:- No if no but sirf jaat
Jain:- na cycle na chain sirf jain
Bihari-na susti na hoshiyari sirf bihari.
Hindu:-na point na bindu sirf hindu
punjabi:-na masala nagheo punjabi saryean da peo

Read: 50 Best Anniversary Whatsapp Status

What is marriage.
“Marriage langar de parshade wang hundi hai..jis vich chahunde hoye vh koi nukks nahi kadd sakde,sharda te majburi nal chup-chaap shhaki jao.( 31 Best Funny Punjabi whatsapp Messages, Jokes )

1budi mr gyi.
ladies rone lgi’bebe kithe gyi,jithe na dup na cha,
na roti na sbzi,na bijli na pani’
Snta bnte nu “yar dekh budi kite Sade ghr t ni chli gyi”

Orkut te kudi fasai,facebook te gal chalai,twitter te ma-bapu nu milai,yahoo te divorse ho gya,is bahane yaara da computer Da course ho gya.
😉 ( 59 Best Funny Punjabi Jokes, messages, Whatsapp Status )

Main ode layi gaana gaya,,
Tenu sohniye bulande jaan jaan gabru de bul suk gaye,,
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Chandri Vaseline di dabbi fda gyi.

Funny Punjabi Whatsapp Status

mundeya nu Facebook da nasha afeem varga, Te kuriyan layi fair n lovely cream varga…..!!!!

Hollywood in punjabi version…
Jurrasic park – dinasour jatt da…
Mr.bean – gunga jatt…
Spider man – jaale jatt de…
Super man – uud da jatt…
Titanic – kishti jatt di…
Terminator – lohe da jatt kad dau watt…
Charly’s angel – jatt diya mashukaa
Babys day out – jatt da jawaak paunda gaah

Jab se Apko dekha hai.
Mera
Raat ko
Din ko
Subah ko
Sham ko
has has ke bura hal ho gaya hai.,..oh Rabba a ki bhej dita duniya te..

 

 

Best Funny Punjabi messages, Whatsapp Status

Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking,
intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal
sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.

Teri Gali Vichon Langa Ge Jaan-Jaan Ke
Sanu Pata Ae Ki Tu Thane Report Likhvayi Hoyi Ae
JaKe Puch Layi Tu Thanedar Nu
Assi Ohdi Vi Kudi Fasayi Hoyi Ae.

Fer Ki Hoeya Je Tu Hathan Te Mehndi La Layi
Hun Assi Vi Sehra Sajawange
Saanu Pata Si Ki Tu Sadi Kismat Ch Nahi
Hun Teri Choti Bhen Fasavange.

Main nwa number lai leya hai,,
CHAPPAL da.
Meri Purani chappal laini howe ta dass deyi, Aiven GURUDWARE to chukan di lod ni,
Changa ni lagda..

BAHUT KUCH DITTA EH RABBA TU MAINU,
BASS IK MEHARBANI HOR KARDE.
JA TAH MILAADE MAINU YAAR MERE NAAL,
NHI TAH BOTAL WHISKY DI MERE MOOHRE DHARDE.

Girl To Boyfriend: Mummy-Papa Ne Keha Hai Ke Jekar Main Paperan Ch Fail Ho Gayi Tan, Mera Viah Kar Dena.
Boyfriend: Tu Tyari Kitti E Na?
Girl: Kar Lyi E, Bas Reception Di Dress Leni Baaki E? (59 Best Funny Punjabi Jokes, messages, Whatsapp Status )
+ + +
Santa: Jad Mera Nava-Nava Viah Hoya Si Tan Menu Meri Voti Aini Changi Lagdi Hundi Si Ke Dil Karda Si Ke Ohnu Kha Hi Jawa…
Banta: Te Hun Kidda Lagda E?
Santa: Hun Na Puch Yaar, Hun Lagda E Ke Je Khaa Janda Tan Mere Tidd Ch Dard Ho Jana Si…( 31 Best Funny Punjabi whatsapp Messages, Jokes )
+ + +
Jadugar To Santa: Hum Main Teri Votti De Do Hisse Kar Davanga…
Santa: Kidda Diya Galla Karda Bai, Mere Ko Ik Ni Sambh Hundi, Tu Meri Problem Nu Double Karn Te Tulya E…
+ + +
Ik Leader Apni Tiwi Nu: Main Apna 50 Crore Da Beema Karvaya E…
Wife: Eh Tusi Bada Changa Kamm Kitta E, Hun Menu Baar-Baar Ni Kehna Paina Ke Apna Khyaal Rakho…

Wife: Meri Umar 45 Hon De Baawjood Vi Tuhada Ik Dost Meri Husan Di Taareef Karda Ni Thakda…
Husband: Ik Hi Banda Kar Sakda E, Oh Maange Raam? Haina?
Wife: Oh God, Sahi Keha, Tuanu Kive Pta…
Husband: Kabaadi E Na…

Husband Naal Ladai Karn Ton Baad, Tivi Ne Apni Maa Nu Phone Kitta: Mummy Osne Fer Mere Naal Ladai Kitti E, Main Tuade Kol Aa Rahi Han…
Maa: Na Putt Na, Ohnu Ohdi, Galati Di Keemat Chukaani Pavegi,
Tu Na Aa, Main Aa Jaani Aa Tere Kol…

Wife Husband Nu Phone Karke Kehendi Hai: Hello, Jee Tusi Ki Karde Pye O?
Husband: Darling, Main Bahut Busy Han, Bada Kamm Hai Ajj Office Te?
Wife: Oho, Kinna Karna Painda Hai Tuhanu? Ajj Pata Laga?
Husband: Ki Kariye Sohniye, Karna Painda Hai? Tusi Ki Karde Ho?
Wife: Main Tuhade Peeche Table Te Han, Te Bacche Puch Rahe Ne Aa Daddy De Naal Kudi Kaun Aa…

Also see; 59 Best Funny Punjabi Jokes, messages, Whatsapp Status

Pappu :”Fruitwalay Baba, Give Me Some Potatoes Fever
Fruitwala :”Ahh ‘Potatoes Fever’ Ki Hunda Hai ??
Pappu :”Oh My God, You Illiteracy People, Potatoes Fever Means “Aaloo Bukhara”

Tu Beemar Ae, Eh Kehen Ton Darda Han Main
Teri Har Ik Ada Te Nakhre Te Marda Han Main
Roz Walk Te Janda Haan Karn Practice Bhajjne Di
Teri Gusse Wali Ghoori Ton Darda Han Main…

Wife : Suno Ji ! Is Hafte Film Dekhange Te Agle Hafte Puri Shopping Karange,
Husband : Ohton Agle Hafte Assi Mandir Javange,
Wife : Oh Kyun…?
Husband : Bheekh Mangange….

31 Best Funny Punjabi whatsapp Jokes

Ik Munde Ne Ek Kudi Nu Kamal Da Phull Vekhaya,
Kudi Ne Ohnu Ik Jordar Chaped Maari,
Munda Bolya, Main Tan BJP Da Parchar Kar Reha Si,
Tu Menu Kyu Maarya?
Kudi Boli, Main Congress Da Parchar Kar Rahi Han..

Ik Jameendar Apne Ristedar Te Fukri Marda Hoya Kehenda Hai: Jad Main Savere Savere Car Ch Apni Jameena Dekhan Layi Janda Han Tan Sanjh Tak Vi Poori Jameen Nhi Dekh Paunda.
Rishtedar: Tusi Theek Kehende Ho 3 Saal Pehlan Saade Kol Vi Eho Jehi Ik Khatara Car Hundi Si, Assi Kabadi Nu Bech Ditti Si.

Read; 20 Best Punjabi Status for fb, Whatsapp

Golu Cycle De Utte Ja Reha Si,
Raste Ch Ik Bhikhari Mileya, “Allah De Na Te Kuch De Davo…”
Golu Nu Tarash Aaya, “Chal Aa Cycle Te Bai, Tainu Garden Da Ik Chakkar De Devan.”

Question: Wo Kehdi Cheez Hai Jehdi Wife Apne Husband Nu Saari Umar Nai Lain Dindi?
.
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….
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……
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Hor Soch Lavo.
.
..

Ans. – Sukh-Chain Di Saa… (Breath)

Golden Words By Hitler:
If You Can Not Fly, Run.
If You Can Not Run, Walk.
If You Can Not Walk, Crawl.
But Keep Moving…

….
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……
…….
……..
Santa:
Oye Eh Ta Theek Aa, Per Jana Kithe Hai?

Santa: Tuhada Kutta Tan Sher Varga Ho Geya, Ki Khwande Ho Ehnu?
Banta: Oye, Eh Sher Hi Hai, Sala Pyar, Pyur De Chakkaran Ch Pai Geya, Sakhal Kutte Jehi Ho Gayi Ae.
😀

59 Best Funny Punjabi Status

Ek Sohni Kudi Ne Bada Nive Cut Da Blouse Paya Hoya Si,
Te Utte Gall Ch Hawai Jhaaj Da Loket Ghum Reha Si,
Ik Munda Bade Dhyaan Naal Dekhan Lag Peya,
Kudi Sharma Ji Gayi, Te Kehan Lagi, “Lagta Hai Tusi Kade Hawai Jahaj Nahi Dekhya?”
Munda Kehnda, “Hawai Jhaaj Taan Bade Dekhe Ne, Per Eho Jeha Airport Ni Dekhya?”

Also see: 50 Best Anniversary Whatsapp Status – Happy Anniversary Quotes

Ik Premi Ohdi Premika Nu, “Tainu Dekhde Hi Meri Nashaa Ch Khoon Dauran Lag Painda Hai,
Akhan Ch Ajeeb Jehi Garmi Aa Jaandi Hai,
Sara Sareer Kamban Ja Lag Jaanda Hai Te Mera Dil Jor Jor Di Dhadkada Hai.”
Premika: “Tu Taan Yaar, Lagda Koi Heart Da Mareej Takkar Geya Mainu.”

Boyfriend Apni Girlfriend Nu “I Love You” Kehnda Hai Te Gir Painda Hai,
Girlfriend: Ae Tusi Ki Kar Rahe Ho?
Boyfriend: I Am Falling In Love.
Gamman De Tufaan Ehoje Chale,
Assi Ikk Duje Toh Bichhad Gaye,
Hanju Bhi Saathon Puchhan Lage,
Tuhade Saathi Kithe Gaye?

Pappu First Time Plane te Beta…
Jidda E Plane Da Agla Tire Uthe Uthiya
Pappu Pilot Nu Kuttan Lag Giya Te Usnu Kiha…
Saaliya Main Pelah E Dariya Piya Te Tu Stunts Mar Riha!!!

*Le Propose His GF
Hahah!!

Ik Jameendar:
Ik Jameendar Apne Ristedar Te Fukri Marda Hoya Kehenda Hai:
Jad Main Savere Savere Car Ch Apni Jameena Dekhan Layi Janda Han Tan Sanjh Tak Vi Poori Jameen Nhi Dekh Paunda.
Rishtedar: Tusi Theek Kehende Ho 3 Saal Pehlan Saade Kol Vi Eho Jehi Ik Khatara Car Hundi Si, Assi Kabadi Nu Bech Ditti Si.

WAKEEL: Me lord, Qanoon di kitaab de safa numbr 15 de mutabiq mere mowakkil nu ba-izzat bari kita jaye.
JUDGE: “Kitaab Pesh Kiti Jaye” (Kitaab pesh kiti gayi) Judge ne safa numbr 15 kholiya taan us vich ’1000′ de ’10′ note si.
JUDGE: “is tarha de 2 saboot hor pesh kite jaan” __😛😀

A & B girls are traveling in a train:

A: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?
B: Mujhe Crorepati chaiiye.

A: Crorepati na miley to?
B: 50 lakh ke 2 pati chaleñge.

A: 50 lakh ke na miley to?
B: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge.

UPPER SOYA PASSENGER:
JAB YE 1000 RUPAYE PE AAYE TO MUJHE UTHA DENA..!=D =D

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